Fifty Things You Don't Know About Me

50. If I'm sleeping alone, I don't move from the position I fall asleep in.
49. If I'm sharing a bed with someone, I won't sleep at all for at least the first 10 times.
48. I don't make my bed unless someone's coming over.
47. I make my kids make their beds every day.
46. I burst into song with embarrassingly little provocation.
45. I watch a lot of my kids' cartoons for my own enjoyment.
44. That said, I think a lot of the newer cartoons are the intellectual equivalent of Wonder Bread.
43. The only white bread I like is a baguette.
42. I existed on baguettes, pâté and pastries for about six months in my third year of university, because I didn't have any money to buy groceries. I did, however, have an Amex card, that the local bakery would accept.
41. When Amex cut off my card, I seriously considered killing myself for the first time, because I didn't have enough money to live.
40. Because I couldn't make rent, I slept with the superintendent of my building. That bought me three weeks. It was not a good investment strategy.
39. I've had four nervous breakdowns, the first one following the above. This one went untreated.
38. My family doctor would hide things from me, believing that it wasn't worth getting me upset. He called my breakdowns "getting overwhelmed."
37. I don't care about material possessions. Cars, jewelry and fancy clothes don't impress me.
36. I am impressed by honesty, fidelity, kindness and generosity of spirit.
35. I still start out by giving people 100 percent trust right off the bat, rather than making them earn it.
34. I am easily disappointed.
33. I poke fun at myself first, to beat other people to the punch.
32. I grind my teeth and crack my neck when I'm really stressed out.
31. I haven't been really stressed out since I left my ex.
30. I know enough karate to kill someone.
29. I've never used it outside of the dojo.
28. My ex used to threaten to have me charged with assault when I would defend myself from him.
27. If my body is going through something unpleasant, I can close myself off inside my brain, and come back to my body once the unpleasantness is over.
26. (damn, is this only halfway?) I've broken my left wrist three times. First while walking my dog (I was 7), then when rollerskating (I was 12), then while sparring (I was 26).
25. I can't ride a bike - my hips are about three inches out of alignment.
24. I hate winter sports, unless you're talking about watching hockey on TV.
23. I hate winter in general, so I'm planning on moving back out to the West Coast as soon as the kids are out on their own.
22. I've lived in five different provinces, from one side of Canada to the other.
21. I moved from the West Coast to the East Coast in one year.
20. I'm not a very reliable friend - I don't call, I forget birthdays - but have been blessed with wonderful friends myself.
19. I can go for days without speaking.
18. Most of my pleasant memories involve food.
17. Most of my unpleasant memories involve men.
16. My ass gets cold in November, and doesn't warm up again until May.
15. I can fireman-carry a 185-lb person up a flight of stairs.
14. I tell people lots of things about myself for the same reason I poke fun at myself: if you know everything about me, you can't say you weren't warned.
13. Repetitive noises give me a headache.
12. I sometimes wonder who these two small people are who live in my house. They say they're my kids, but they change so quickly they're like strangers to me some days.
11. I judge people based on their grammar and table manners.
10. I dislike diamonds and red roses.
9. I love good cologne on a man or woman.
8. I will go out of my way to be politically incorrect.
7. I can eat the same thing for every meal for several days in a row and not get bored.
6. I prefer solitude to company, though company is probably better for me.
5. I don't wash clothes after each wear, unless they're visibly dirty or smelly.
4. I overanalyze everything.
3. I like watching extreme sports, but have no desire to participate.
2. I'm ready to die.
and finally...
1. It bothers me when people come and go off my blog subscriber list without ever having left me a comment.
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Ta-da. Your turn.